Saturday, December 19, 2009

Obama teaches the ABCs

Now, listen up boys and girls. Your parents may have been receiving some mis-information from those evil Nazi's waving tea bags around and as your divinely-appointed leader, it is my duty to re-educate you so that you may become responsible global citizens. I was planning to do this back in September, but it seems that, um, the timing wasn't quite right.

We'll begin with the ABCs...

A is for Alinsky, ACORN, and apology
B is for bailouts, bonuses and Bernanke
C is for climate- change, czars and Chrysler
D is for debt, deniability and distraction
E is for entitlement, economy and entitlement again
F is for Fed, freedom [to do exactly what you are told] and Fairness Doctrine
G is for green, Gitmo and GM
H is for health care, Hillary, and H1N1
I is for ideologue, illegal immigrants and interest
J is for Jeremiah Wright and justice- the social kind
K is for knuckles- the brass kind, Kennedy and Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
L is for liberalism, legislation and land grab
M is for medicare, misinformation and Marxism
N is for NBC, Nasdaq and Nazis
O is for Obama [and nobody else]
P is for Progressive, polar bears and Pelosi
Q is for qualified, quadrupled-debt and
R is for Rasmussen, racism and reconciliation
S is for shame, single-payer and stimulus
T is for TARP, taxes and Treasury
U is for unconstitutional, unions and East Anglia University
V is for Venezuela, vendetta and Valerie Jarrett
W is for wall Street, water-boarding and windfall profits
X is for eXtremists- the tea baggers I mentioned before
Y is for You Tube, Yemen and Yellow
Z is for Jay-Z, Zelaya and Zimbabwe

Tomorrow, you will be taught "new" math by Ben Bernanke. 'Social Studies' will be permanently replaced with 'Social Justice' and will be taught by Van Jones. For extra credit, you can attend a quick lesson on how to use Turbo Tax by Tim Geitner. I will personally be teaching you about all 57 of our glorious United States. Lunch will be served by the SEIU.

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